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Rainbow of Emotions

Happiness is fleeting, it's here this moment and whoosh.....gone again. How can I make it stay?

A recent training tripped me, tripped.....no, it pushed me, pushed hard in the trenches of sadness, into a pitch dark bottomless hole where the light is too far... I never enrolled in this training to feel miserable, it was meant to transform me,  empower me to lead better.

But it did transform me. It echoed that to be empowered,  you need to liberate yourself of all bondage of the past. Whatever you were suppressing or avoiding you need to live it, live it to be free of the suffocation that can cloud your thinking while deciding for your future.

Happiness does not mean the absence of sadness, it means living your sadness to appreciate the moments that give you contentment.

The day I stifled my emotions of loss, sadness, grief, inadequacy, anxiety, remorse, insignificance, guilt, anger; they stayed, made a home in my body. They picked a corner in my body....not only my heart, mind but shoulders, the pit of my stomach, my calf muscles, my bone joints and made it their home. So when I raised my arms to shout in elan they pained. I danced a little and my calves said 'enough'.

It dawned that to live happy I have to live my moments of anger, grief, remorse, sadness. I need to be anxious to enjoy the stillness. If I had lived all my emotions truly rather than avoiding and accommodating them I would have been 15 kgs lighter as I wouldn't have substituted my frustration with a bar of chocolate.late night binge eating could have been avoided if I would have allowed my self to shout and cry out loud. Instead of faking a smile I should have asked for my space to cry at the loss of my dad when my partner asked to join him for a social gathering as it was important for his career.
In place of seeking therapy, toxic journaling, drugs and pain killers it's better to live in the moment. The moment may offer you any emotion but take it as it comes, Live it. Live every emotion available on emotion wheel.
 There are times we can not even name our feelings as they are not part of our vocabulary. Anthropologically our brain is tuned to detect negativity more than positivity as it is a defense mechanism still our language is not evolved to name different negative emotions in our daily rundowns.
The bubble of happiness will burst until you experience all that is served by life. Moderating, meditating, experiencing is all which will help us to appreciate our moments better. Practicing gratitude and intentional kindness can help us to survive better in the midst of daily emotion roller coasters. 'We had to be OK with not being OK' says Nataly Kogan, Author, TEDx Speaker and founder of Happier.com. When we pause to acknowledge a difficult emotion it helps us to go through it faster. Observing and acknowledging a negative emotion help to move the emotion from Amygdala(seat of negative feelings in our brain) to the frontal cortex which will help in expressing your difficult emotions.

Genuine happiness is the ability to experience a rainbow of emotions. The only way out is to Acknowledge, Accept and live your difficult emotions to get rid of them.  It is self-care!

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